A Woman's Vocabulary by I. Ama Woman
>
>
>FINE:
>This is the word we use to end an argument. "Fine" means that the
>argument is over, we are right, you should shut up now. Never use "Fine"
>to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those
>arguments.
>

>FIVE MINUTES:
>This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
>football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so we
>feel that it's an even trade.
>

> NOTHING:
>This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is
>usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn
>you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies
>an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
>

> GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows):
> This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
> "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."
>

> GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows):
> This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't care."
>You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed
>by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five
>Minutes" when she cools off.
>

> LOUD SIGH:
>This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement
>very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an
>idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing
there
>and arguing with you over "Nothing."
>
> SOFT SIGH:
>Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of
>the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your
>best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.
>

> OH:
>This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me
>get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last
>night." If she says, "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the
>nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done
tossing
>your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at
>least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that
>you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you
> will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable
>that I can't bring myself to write about them.
>

> THAT'S OKAY:
>This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to
>a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard
>before deciding on your punishment for what ever it is that you have done.
> "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in
>conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near
>future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some
mighty
big trouble.
>

> PLEASE DO:
>This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
>chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing
>whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell
>the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
>
> THANKS:
> A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say, "You're welcome."
>
> THANKS A LOT:
>This is much different than "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"
> when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have
>hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be
> careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will
>only tell you "Nothing."